Dog House W/ Patio

the small things...

Now that I've been here for over two weeks I feel that I can relay some of the details that make life in Korea very amusing. It's because of these things that I laugh often while walking down the street, working, or sitting in my apartment. It's also these things that make me realize where I'm at and where I was giving me a better appreciation for both. While this isn't nearly a comprehensive list, it should paint a good picture for you. So try to imagine experiencing these things on a daily basis and you might get an inkling what it's like living here.

Everything is roughly one-third smaller than in the States. The people, the cars, the streets, the hallways, the beds, and from what I've heard even the condoms. This puts a westerner like myself in an amusing situation no matter where I go. I cannot tell you the number of times I've hit my head on a doorway or squeezed through the foot traffic on my way to work.

Every time I go out to eat the server brings me (and only me, as I'm the only wayguk) a fork. This has led me to believe that there is only one fork in every restaurant especially designated for me. Now when I go out to eat with my Korean teachers I ask, “Where's 'my' fork?” They don't seem to get a kick out of it. Perhaps its because they know how insulting it would be if they sat down at a restaurant in America and the server brought them out chopsticks.

The food isn't so bad. Since I'm allergic to seafood it has limited some of my options. I've eaten a fair variety that all has the same five flavors. Some of the dishes I've had have very unique textures though. One egg derived meal felt like I was sucking down hot gelatin. Very different. The Korean people seem to think that they have the spiciest food on Earth, which is not the case. Often they will tell me not to eat something because it is 'too spicy.' Of course I then eat it and laugh at their definition of 'spicy.' I think somewhere down the line westerners once told their Korean hosts that they didn't like the food because it was too spicy to be polite. It was just too rude to say, “Your food tastes like fermented cabbage.” Which, by the way, is the most popular side dish here known as gimchi. No, I've not eaten dog yet. Yet.

The garbage man can. What seemed like a nice perk in the beginning has turned into my one loathsome complaint about my apartment. The garbage man comes around every day in his truck to pick up the trash. Which means that there is no need for garbage cans as you can place your trash outside your building on your way to work. Handy, right? But what I've come to realize is that the garbage truck plays (rather: blares) a little song as it drives under my window every morning at 8 that repeats the Korean equivalent to 'Bring out your trash, I'm coming to take it away!' Or something like that. It is the most annoying song ever. Add 8am into the equation and it's a damn good thing that they don't allow firearms in this country.

The Stare. This is perhaps the best/ worst part of Korea. As you can imagine I don't quite look like everyone else here. Anywhere I go I am stared at as if they cannot believe what they are seeing. At first it was a bit flattering but has since turned into a minor annoyance. From what I hear the next step is 'Major Annoyance' and then 'Ignore-ence.' Can't wait. Mostly children will stop in their tracks and look at you like you have lobsters crawling out of your ears (Christmas Story anyone?). The ajummas (grandparents) will do this as well but they have a bit more respect in their eyes. The teen to middle age group is the worst. They look at you like you've crawled up from the sewers and are poised to trounce their family. Some even go so far as to say a “Hello,” or “What's your name?” as it is the only English they know. God help them if you answer them. I've picked up the Korean phrase for, “There's a Foreigner!” (which I hear often as I'm walking through town). To which I've learned to say back in Korean, “There's a Korean!” with a shocked look on my face. They don't know what to do, its great.